AN ODE TO THE IMMORTAL BARD OF AYR

William McGonagall, the Dundonian poet is famous for his "bathetic" poetry, which although hilarious, is also occasionally moving, as we see in this tribute to the greatest of the Scottish poets, Robert Burns.

Contributed to the Ayrshire Post by "Sir William Topaz McGonagall," 24th April 1897

Ye sons of Scotland, my heart often mourns

When I think of the treatment of Robert Burns;

Because, while he was living, . . . .

The people unto him were seldom giving.

Alas, by the people, you were neglected,

Which caused your spirits to be dejected,

And made thee in agony, for to groan

With hunger and sorrow, sad and forlorn.

Oh, pity the sorrows of a poor poet

When in want of bread;

And help him while living,

For he requires no help when he’s dead.

Immortal Robert Burns of Ayr,

There’s but few poets can with you compare;

Some of your poems and songs are very fine –

To Mary in Heaven is most sublime.

And, then again, in your Cottar’s Saturday Night,

Your genius there does shine most bright,

And fills the readers’ hearts with delight,

As pure as the dew drops of night.

Your Tam o’Shanter is very fine,

Funny, racey, and divine; . . . .

And from John O’Groats to Dumfries

All critics consider it to be a masterpiece.

And, also, you have said the same,

Therefore you are not to blame;

And in my own opinion both you and them are right,

For your genius there does sparkle bright,

Like unto the stars of night,

Which I most solemnly declare

To thee, immortal bard of Ayr.

Your Banks and Braes of Bonnie Doon

Are sweet and melodious in its tune,

Because the poetry is moral and sublime,

And in my opinion nothing can be more fine.

Your Scots wha hae wi’ Wallace bled

Is most beautiful to hear sung or read;

For your genius there does shine bright,

And fills Scots hearts with delight.

Immortal bard of Ayr, I must conclude my muse,

And to write in praise of thee my pen does not refuse,

For you were a mighty poet, few could with you compare,

And also an honour to Scotland,

For your genius it is fair.

AYR'S JEWISH COMMUNITY

Jewish refugees Lore Zimmerman and Susanne Schaeffer in 1939.

Because the Scots share some of the characteristics from which the Jews benefit in the rest of the World, Scotland is not the easiest place for Jews to flourish in. That slot, alas, has already been filled.

Nevertheless, for around 100 years -- from the mid 19th century to the mid 20th century -- the town of Ayr was notable for having one of Scotland's few Jewish communities. 

Jews appear in Ayrshire as early as the 1850s. By the 1901 census -- one year before the community established a synagogue -- the number of Jews reported to be living in Ayrshire was 75. In 1904, Jews formed the Ayr Zionist Society, and soon after a Hebrew school. 

In the 1930s, there were a number of kosher boarding houses for Jewish holidaymakers coming down from Glasgow. During this time the synagogue was at Sandgate and then at the kosher Invercloy Hotel (see below). 

During the war, some Jewish refugees arrived, helping to boost the numbers of the community. In 1950, 160 Jews were reported to be living in the town. The Ayrshire Post reported on the arrival of five refugees in April 1939, staying at the Carrick Lodge:

"There was a young woman, a doctor and his wife, a young man who had been in a concentration camp and an eight-year-old girl and more were expected in the near future. [The landlady] made an appeal for offers of hospitality to the refugees and also for enquiries for domestics. Children’s clothing was also urgently required."

Following this, the number of Jews rapidly declined. By 1960, there were 68, and then by 1970, only 40. Soon after that the synagogue closed down, ending the history of Ayr's Jewish community.

LABOUR'S PUBLIC-PRIVATE FUNDING DISASTER IN NORTH AYRSHIRE

Every month, North Ayrshire Council pays over £1 million to service debts to a private contractor, as part of some extremely bad deals the Labour-controlled council signed in 2006. In that year the Labour council signed a Public Private Finance (PPF) deal that effectively borrowed £380 million pounds from a German-led consortium/cartel to pay the same consortium/cartel to build four schools and service them for 30 years. 

The interest on this amount means the full figure is far higher. This piece of insane bookkeeping was part of New Labour's strategy for keeping vast, inefficient increases in public spending off the national books, and therefore effectively a form of fraud. 

As the video above shows, the reason the terms of the contract were so bad for North Ayrshire taxpayers is because the normal competitive bidding process for PPF contracts was completely circumvented by using a consortium and a fake alternative bidder.

The result of this is that North Ayrshire taxpayers have a legacy of crushing debt in return for very little -- a handful of unnecessarily modernized schools -- that will have an impoverishing effect on the area for years to come. This, it seems, is the reason why Irvine's Xmas decorations were so dire last Xmas.