THE CANDIDATES: CENTRAL AYSHIRE

What do we know about the candidates in the forthcoming General Election? Not much, so here's what we could find out at short notice.

First up, the leading candidate in this constituency, according to polls, is Labour's Allan Gemmel:

Gemmel (on the Left) is gay and married to another man, so it is remarkable that Labour have put him up as a candidate in such a contentious and "socially conservative" seat as Central Ayrshire, known for its long  history of dour Presbyterianism  reinforced by waves of traditional Catholic immigration from the less sophisticated parts of Ireland. Maybe they are counting on the economic Leftism of the voters to trump their rooted-in-the-past social values. 

Nevertheless Gemmel is certainly a high-flyer and a top level Labour pick, and is clearly someone Keir Starmer would call on to fill a ministerial position if both are successful on July 4th.

Born in the working class Girdle Toll suburb of Irvine in 1978 at time of severe social dislocation, Gemmel was the son of a council binman. He then began his escape from his humble beginnings by going to Irvine Royal Academy and later studying music and law (at the University of Glasgow), before joining the Civil Service at the age of 25.

He then rose up through a number of diplomatic, cultural, and advisory roles, no doubt assisted by the increasing need for stale British civil service departments to show their woke credentials, to the relatively elevated role of British Trade Commissioner and Deputy High Commissioner for South Asia in 2020. 

He married his ballet-dancing partner Damien at the age of 37. The couple have no children. He got an OBE in 2016.

Gemmel's main opponent is the SNP's Annie McIndoe, a woman apparently in her 50s, who is replacing retiring "supersized" SNP MP Philippa Whitford. 

Although hardly slender, Annie is a more acceptable size than her SNP predecessor.

Born in Kilwinning, the home of freemasonry, and based in Troon, she went to Marr College and did something in "public administration" at the low-ranking Glasgow Caledonian University. She also describes herself as an "ex-naval wife" although the cause of her change of status, whether a shipwreck or love on the rocks, is unclear. 

She has held a number of positions in the grant-and-tax-funded "charity sector," but since 2017 has been a "case worker" for SNP MPs Whitford and Dorrans (put that on the expenses account!). As with "high flyer" Gemmel and his civil servant career, she has not had to make her way in the real world of business. 

Her main selling point as a candidate is that she hates litter and has been part of local efforts to keep the beaches clean. 

While Ayr, Carrick, and Cumnock have two former bobbies in the top three, Ayrshire Central has two musically talented artistic types. While Labour's Gemmel once toured with the Scottish National, the Tory candidate David Rocks is a music teacher. Yes, someone else who hasn't worked in the real economy!

Rocks was born locally in 1986 and attended Irvine Royal Academy, then the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama in Glasgow from 2003-07. He then got a job teaching music in a North Ayrshire secondary school, probably the same one he went to as a kid. I don't know if he is married and has a family, but I suspect not, as Tory campaigns usually mention that sort of thing. 

Rocks has previously contested the North Ayrshire and Arran seat with little success.

Predictions based on latest polls: